I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
