It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
