Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
