If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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