He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize