i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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