actually, I'm a sock model
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
