So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
