I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
