Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
