youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
