Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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