He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
