i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
