You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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