My friends, they love my intelligence
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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