i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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