my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
