I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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