When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
