So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
