my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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