It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it was like his penis was on wheels.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
