I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
