Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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