Pregnant stripper...not hot.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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