The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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