He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
