I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
