whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
