i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's never too late to be topless.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
