You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
