just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The Olympian is in my bed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This toilet bowl is my home.
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