is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
