Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
