I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
