why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
