So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
