mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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