Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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