glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
