So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
