I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
