I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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