I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
