put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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