Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
