everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
