That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
