having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
