i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
