Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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