She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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