ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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