Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you had me at cake vodka
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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